Life of idleness is a nice one indeed, my days mysteriously evaporate and I have no idea into what since I see no signs of any productivity as haven taken place. I did however have a job interview at a nice place and will have another one soon, I am cautiously optimistic but one never knows what can happen. There are jobs out there somewhere, I bought a new camera (and will now be able to add many more pictures to my Flickr site) , and as I unwrapped all the cables and components I marveled at how someone somewhere put tiny pieces of tape on each bag before placing them in little cardboard compartments in the box, so clearly there are jobs available... In a way it would be kind of nice to just have a job taping things and never have to worry about meetings and stupid stuff, just sit at the assembly line and daydream about more important things, the drawback is of course that there is no money in taping :(
Sola the polar bear lives in Svalbard and her job is to feed her cubs and get fat! Age: about 20 years Length: 205cm Weight: 138 kg Cubs: two, male & femaleCapture date: 12th April 2006 Location: north coast of Nordaustlandet, Svalbard
Blood and fire!! well not quite, in fact not even an ordeal, more like liberation!!! i was fired from my dead-end horrible job and received a 'package' so it is more like winning the lottery. YAY! and to think if the boss who wants to be king (when he isn't kissing ass) would just have waited a couple of more weeks i would have quit and it wouldn't have cost them a dime. it is enough to almost make me believe in higher power, a divine intervention, life after death, karma and all that other stuff. Wow i am thrilled to bits, could barely conceal a smile during the oh so difficult 'exit'. it was all very dramatic, i.e. you have 2 hours to get out, as if i would be moving millions of dollars to secret off-shore bank accounts and stealing trade secrets and perhaps even shredding incriminating documents, as if a bankrupt little instance in higher education would have any such things!!! Hello freedom, hello opportunity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :-)
Everything is everything.. feeling increasingly shut in and shut up by the every day worsening situation at the ivy league. it never ceases to amaze me how the least qualified and the most unpleasant people always manage to somehow claw their way to the top of every tier. i am getting deperate to find something else, anything else, but it is dismal out there at the moment. i feel almost sick at the thought of staying yet i am too poor to leave, i think that used to be called slavery... at a meeting with the second in command and the pit boss it became clear to me why certain people moved up, they were the ones with the adoring smiles and gales of laughter at every inane thing that spewed out of his little mouth, ugh i'd rather eat garbage.
Yep it is hot and sticky and humid and horrid. i paint my toenails blue which has a cooling effect, sort of like tiny swimming pools on my feet.
About 10 more weeks before this over (altho last year summer lasted well into October). We had terrible storms and something resembling tornadoes, maybe the environmentalist's dire predictions of weather in the future is coming true..?
I am bloated, and have a sinus infection from the AC which keeps me coughing and sniffling (and snoring at night) so i am in a permanent state of misery and on top of everything NO POKER (too hot). i might as well give up drinking and having fun until this passes and become fully immersed in the blues of summer.
Life goes on and World Cup sure makes a dent in the every-day-lah-di-dah. But some things remain the same and i suppose will ever change but it is a welcome diversion.
i have developed a cold, perhaps from sleeping with AC, perhaps from working in a nasty basement, but either way i was not in the mood for some fat ugly people telling me not to smoke on the sidewalk (almost had a physical fight), i hate people but have to learn to just let it go... not easy for sure but what can you do..?
it is hot and i hate it, but fail to see why i am always so surprised when it gets hot in the summer, in Iceland you just take weather in stride: great deal of griping for sure, but after all it is still just the weather, but i am not too happy at the moment, grrrrr.
i summonsed Dr. Feelgood but he is busy watching L&O which is so weird all things considered, but just as well... i have 4 days off and have made many plans but ultimately think i'll just lounge except for 2 dinner parties and (no doubt) lots of excessive drinking, we shall see.
You see a pair of laughing eyes and suddenly you realize...
the other night i had an inspiring moment that almost had all that. i found myself unexpectedly sitting on a pier on the Hudson with pounding disco below and yet the stillness of the river all around and actually looking into a pair of laughing eyes, followed by an amazing sense of absolute bliss, but at the same time feeling totally detatched because I knew it was all an illusion. But i am the ultimate Blanche: "i don't want realism, I want magic.." Life is but of a series fleeting moments and every now and then there is a blissful one and this was a indeed good one. the trick is to not believe there is a way to prolong or extend a moment, it is after all just a moment, and i for one am filled with gratitude that life still has some of those to offer me. I want to dance and feel that special warmth of love while i twirl like Ginger in Fred's arms on a shiny floor of an ocean liner on its way to nowhere.
Many things going on, not all of which I am ashamed (!), work is in a strange place and the higher edu levels are indeed being questioned and I went ahead and applied for a new job. This is somewhat emotional as I like the people I work with but not so sure about the new management... I am however a bit ashamed of my flimsy affair, but amply punished with my back totally out so now I look like a jack-knife and am a subject of ridicule. However illness is indeed a metaphor and lying on my floor in a steamy apartment for 3 days is a humbling experience, now I wonder if I shouldn't get a steady BF after all since being alone and picturing various scenarios of being dead for days and half-eaten by cats may not be such a good option... I did go on a date and it was a dismal experience (my first in 18 months), the guy got shitfaced drunk and whined about his ex wife and stuck me with the bill, ugh. And to make things worse I seem to have gained back all the weight I lost, double yuck. thank god for World Cup it is the only thing that has gotten me through this awful week (did I mention I lost at poker last week?), I love the beautiful men of soccer and even put up with 200 drunk chezcks (sp?) at a bar in Queens last Saturday (while quietly cheering for the Italians) just to get a break. I really can't take any more humiliation, enough is enough! I need to re-focus and get myself back into the right groove somehow. I saw this very sad documentary on children dying of cancer and suddenly feel like perhaps my family is where I should be... One good thing is the discovery of how well muscle relaxants go with alcohol, the warning label was a sure clue: may cause drowsiness if taken with alcohol.... mmmm
