Liberated from evil

Personalize your weather (NYT on-line link) hmm wonder what that means...

I am in the grips of the National Democratic Convention at night and in the steely grip of her Oneness during the day, and running around taking care of Patrick in-between, I need to personalize my weather or maybe climate.  Her Oneness arrived while I was in the midst of taking care of Patrick who has yet again managed to get some strange life-threatening illness.  She needs various life-saving remedies such as her very expenisive and remarkably ugly lights hung, her organic foods in the fridge (which she then never actually eats) and gazillion other things to ease her own, oh so very difficult daily battles (Armani or Ralph Lauren).  Meanwhile I am at the hospital bitching to overworked exhausted staff about hot water in the shower and not placing an AIDS patient next to someone with a staff infection or covered in shit.  I saw a man with toenails that wrapped around his dirty toes and were cutting into the underside and old people left to lie on stretchers for 2 days!  This health care system has got to stop!!!!  the ER is filled with people who could so easily be taken care of by a doctor or a local health clinic but have no choice but go to the ER for primary care for headaches or colds only to have really ill people get no service at all.  I did find it odd that when the police brought in a man in handcuffs he was taken care of immediatetly (while we all watched in a morid facination).  Maybe I will have to commit a crime in order to see a doctor!

I need a new climate.  I need to focus on more positive things although at this very moment they seem as far off as the Hamptons.  What is good about my life (climate)?.
Here is a list:
1) I found out that I am healthy after all (broke down and paid for a test after certain worries).
2) I have wonderful supportive friends and family.
3) I have certain freedom not afforded to many.
4) I have had more love from wonderful men than most women I know.
5) I have never been abused, belittled or mistreated (like so many women I know).
6) I had a most wonderful childhood (which did not quite prepare me for the weirdness of adulthood..)
7) My niece, my wonderful, beautiful, well of joy and hope.
8) My Charlie, my window on the secret world of teens and boundless love (he'll buy me a helicopter when I get old).
9) I am content and at peace with my life choices (as odd as they sometimes seemed).
10) I am grateful for all the films and art and music yet unmade and for those that have sustaned me thus far.

Hey I feel better, the weather has changed, in fact it is thundering as I write this, the powers of nature to strike down and destroy us should never be discounted, I am glad to be alive.

 

 

Woman, Dead, Found Hanging From a Tree in Central Park, Probably Suicide.... (NYT)  Well I for one will certainly be looking up more often on my daily walk there...

So I am back and life goes on (Thx all for reading and responding to my travel blog).  For some reason or maybe a miracle I have lost enough weight to fit into one size smaller than a month ago!!!  It may be the general oxigen deprivation of Mexico City, or excessive tequila, or maybe just that my diet and exercise is working, either way I am pleased as punch.  Summer is in full swing but not nearly as bad as last year, lots of rain tho but anything is better than 100 degrees.  Even after living here for 20 years I still can never get used to the heat, just hate it.  Not that summers haven't left me with fond memories, I remember sweaty lovemaking, agony and exhilaration.  Seems that so many love encounters happen in the summer, or maybe I just remember them differently (?).  I have spent the past few days reminiscing because a very dear friend is staying with me and is in the midst of a torrid love state.  I am trying to reach back into my own (checkered) past to see if I was ever this despondent for any lenght of time, but I am at a loss.  I have genuine fear that something terrible will happen and don't know how to help her.  It is strange how these attachments one forms with people can become so important and overpowering, although in my own case I don't see anything like it.  Sure love hurts, (love mars... channeling Roy Orbison here), but this is ridiculous.  I have been aware of her obsession for a couple of years but I had no idea to which extent this madness had reached. 
I am reminded of a a couple women I used to be friends with who got involved with destructive abusive evil men, and although these women could be considered somewhat 'normal' I know there is something in them that invites this.  I have since cut off my contact with them because they are like poison and I have realized within the past year that I don't need any poison in my life, but I hesitate to cut this girl off, she is so young and has so much potential and I so want to see her grow into herself and become the beautiful person I know she still is.  My other former  friends are beyond consideration because they learned to pass on the disrespect, lies and general terrible treatment to others and destry everyone around them, but this one hasn't done that yet.  I spend every night and every morning listening to her beg and cry and plead with this evil, evil man, to talk to her or whatever.  I am developing fantasies of killing him, and here is what years of reading murder mysteries suddenly seems to have a meaning (!).  I also find it weird that modern technology enables cross-continental stalking (he lives in Europe)!  He calls her or rather SMSs her every 10 minutes all night to prevent her from sleeping and she is now like a brainwashed robot and terrified of putting her phone down for even a minute.  I want him dead!
I can think of hundreds of ways to take him out, but nothing as painful as he deserves.  I mean what the hell is up with these crazy fucking guys, do they all attend the same summer camp or what?  Why do they all have the exact same pattern, and furthermore what the hell is wrong with these women to allow this to happen!!!!!!  A larger question I realize but it ties into so many things for me.  I guess I just want this to stop before I lose yet another friend.

This blog is terribly strange, nice things have happened, but I have to write about those another time, I am too upset right now.