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Liberated from evil

Free 2 B

Monday, December 22, 2003

Monday:
My benefits continue, apparently I just got under the wire so I am much relieved. The dreaded holidays are here, but I am trying to ignore it as much as possible. I have no money to shop and no one to be close with, except my dear friends. It beats several previous Christmases when my boyfriend would either give me nothing or some horrible crap still in a shopping bag with the receipt! Once he gave me one of those framed photos of the WTC, the kind you buy on the street for $5! He also gave his whole family the same thing which sure didn't make me feel special, ugh! I hear he has a new girlfriend now and can't help but wonder if he treats her the same way (?). I would have sex with my secret lover before seeing the boyfriend on christmas, new years eve and my birthday and even his birthday, which made this whole thing much more bearable, even though he never knew, it still felt like revenge somehow. God I miss my secret guy!
Holidays is a time of reflection and I am thinking about how strange this year has been. A year ago I had a great job, money and a vacation with my family, this year I am penniless, unemployed and sad.
I float around aimlessly and wonder where life will take me. I go on endless dates with men I have no interest in, in an effort to get out a little but it is not fun anymore. I apply for jobs I don't want and am turning to mush just sitting around.
I am going for a walk.



posted by svaka  # 1:36 PM
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Monday, December 15, 2003

Monday:
Saw Bush giving a press conference where he invoked 9/11 about 10 times, while defending his stupid stand on Iraq. Never underestimate the stupidity of the American people, polls show that the bulk of the population now thinks the highjackers were Iraqi!!! Bushie is very smug about capuring the 'evil dictator' who was befittingly enough hiding in a hole (!). Now we can pump more money into liberating the Iraqi people further, but what about the Americans who don't have jobs and have now had their extended benefits cut off? But hey as long as the Iraqis can now finally be free to be unemployed and hungry also I guess it is OK. I also suspect that cutting extended unemployment benefits off may reflect more positively on numbers of unemployed people, ie if they are not receiving money they must be employed, right? It's the economy stupid!







posted by svaka  # 1:06 PM
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Sunday, December 14, 2003

Sunday:
Snowing again today, everything is clean and beautiful for a few minutes at least. Sometimes while walking around I catch a snippet of conversations, things sound so odd when taken out of context. ..."He is downsizing, he married the help..." there is a whole novel or a movie behind this comment.
I got a message that my unemployment has ended, but they suggest I keep logging on for benefits, no one seems to know what this means. I guess Starbux is where my next resume will be sent. Would that be a TALL or GRANDE?


posted by svaka  # 6:30 PM
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Wednesday, December 03, 2003

Wednesday:
Edith Wharton's heroine Lilly, in the House of Mirth killed herdelf rather than to take a job, I feel like I'll kill myself if I don't get a job.

Winter is here and I have a cold for the first time in 2 years! Which is especially annoying since I have bragged left and right I never get a cold, ugh.

Seems like a good time to plan our annual holiday party.

In the spirit of the holidays I have also reconnected with old friends and estranged friends which feels good. Men come and go but friends are forever.






posted by svaka  # 6:28 PM
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