Many things going on, not all of which I am ashamed (!), work is in a strange place and the higher edu levels are indeed being questioned and I went ahead and applied for a new job. This is somewhat emotional as I like the people I work with but not so sure about the new management... I am however a bit ashamed of my flimsy affair, but amply punished with my back totally out so now I look like a jack-knife and am a subject of ridicule. However illness is indeed a metaphor and lying on my floor in a steamy apartment for 3 days is a humbling experience, now I wonder if I shouldn't get a steady BF after all since being alone and picturing various scenarios of being dead for days and half-eaten by cats may not be such a good option... I did go on a date and it was a dismal experience (my first in 18 months), the guy got shitfaced drunk and whined about his ex wife and stuck me with the bill, ugh. And to make things worse I seem to have gained back all the weight I lost, double yuck.thank god for World Cup it is the only thing that has gotten me through this awful week (did I mention I lost at poker last week?), I love the beautiful men of soccer and even put up with 200 drunk chezcks (sp?) at a bar in Queens last Saturday (while quietly cheering for the Italians) just to get a break.
I really can't take any more humiliation, enough is enough! I need to re-focus and get myself back into the right groove somehow.
I saw this very sad documentary on children dying of cancer and suddenly feel like perhaps my family is where I should be... One good thing is the discovery of how well muscle relaxants go with alcohol, the warning label was a sure clue: may cause drowsiness if taken with alcohol.... mmmm
