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Liberated from evil

Free 2 B

Sunday, November 30, 2003

Sunday. Feels like the 3rd sunday in a row and I am totally over it, never liked sundays much to begin with.
At the movies we had one of those "I can't believe the tings people do" experience:
We trek down to 42nd to see a flick in one of those giant plex places and sit in stadium seats etc. there must be 30 theatres and no monitoring so basically you can slip into any one of them. this young attractive couple in their early 20s sit on my right and my baby on my left. at first they just chatted loudly until i, very politely, asked them to shut the fuck up, and they were all apologetic and nice about it. little did i know, but suddenly i notice the guy (sitting right next to me) slips his pants down and drapes his jacket over his lap and his little innocent looking asian girlfriend proceeds to jack him off for the next 2 hours!!! now besides being annoying, several things come to mind like a) how can anyone do that for 2 hours? b) why not sit in the back if you must, c) why not a different movie.. truly bizzzzzarrrre. i was about to explode with all the sarcastic remarks that wanted to pop out of my mouth but couldn't say a single word in front of the kid!
all this aside, the movie (Timeline) was truly awful the kids seemed to enjoy themselves though many adults just snickered through the whole thing, except of course the busy couple! Now we saw Elf the day before and both liked it very much, maybe in retrospect because there were no distractions in the audience...

People are weird, and life is always so much stranger than fiction.

I am getting a cold, or rather already have a cold/flu thing going on, ugh.


posted by svaka  # 4:30 PM
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Friday, November 28, 2003

Thanksgiving, a holiday that means nothing nothing to me so I simply ignore it. I don't like turkey and the massive amounts of food that are served with it just make me feel sick, ugh. I usually use this time to travel but this year I am here and blessed with the company of the best kid in the world, my friend Charlie. We went to the movies and played games and had Chinese food so all is well.
I think I also totally misunderstood the meaning of this feast in the past. Years ago I decided to celebrate, I cooked a turkey and invited a homeless man for dinner and my American friends were horrified, I also made everyone give a short speech about what they were grateful for. This was all wrong and it was explained to me in no uncertain terms that this is a day solely for eating excessively and has nothing to do with anything else (!). Never did that again, just either hide out or go away.
All my friends are out of town suffering with their families, the city felt so nice and empty yesterday except for Times Square which was filled with tourists. I like it when the streets are empty it feels futuristic somehow.
We had Cocoa Puffs for breakfast!

posted by svaka  # 11:02 AM
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Sunday, November 23, 2003

Back from Amsterdam and it is good to be back. We had a relatively nice time but I don't think I'll be going back there again. No sooner did I get back than a friend from Iceland called and asked me to translate a book into English in 3 days! Although it is a coffe table/cook book kind of thing, I quickly realized that this was way much more work than I originally anticipated so I don't think it can be done. It is strange how things that sound perfectly reasonable in one language becomes gibberish in another, hard work indeed. I may go to Istanbul tomorrow as a friend may have a ticket, but everything is up in the air since the airline is closed on the weekend and no decisions can be made. My apartment if dirty and and I feel very fragmented somehow.

posted by svaka  # 1:38 PM
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Monday, November 10, 2003

Feeling a bit unhinged somehow, can't concentrate on anything and have trouble remembering basic things. the monotony of unemployment is really getting to me i think. all days are alike and seem to blend in to each other, i try to keep to a saturday cleaning schedule but since saturday is no longer any different from a wednesday it doesn't work.
it is finally cold outside and all the leaves are positively leaping off the trees, in fact one tree dumped almost all of its leaves right on me all at once, it was eerie, like someone pulled a cord. should i take this personally, is nature attacking me?
Trying to get ready for my trip to Amsterdam, but don't know what to bring, can't imagine what it is like there this time of year. I check a live web cam from there sometimes and it just seems very dark and rainy, but it could just be because of the time difference. everyone keeps telling me where to get hashish or mushrooms, but that holds little interest for me, so i guess museums and bars will probably be the places for us to go to. sort of mundane but hopefully nice.

We threw away some old filing cabinets the other day, and i was struck by how sad furniture always looks when left out on the street. the lonesome faithful chair worn down from years of someone sitting in it, just seemed so lost somehow. it reminded me of a story i read as a small child about a little christmas tree that was so thrilled to be all decorated and adored and then felt so sad when it was tossed out after the holidays were over, it kept hoping to be brought back in and be restored to its former glory, but instead slowly realized it was all used up and only death was waiting. i never have a christmas tree, i can't bear it.


posted by svaka  # 11:24 AM
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Saturday, November 08, 2003

Spent a day puttering around my room and trying to fit everything into place, but it looks so foreign somehow. How odd one's place can look with new things in it, like life in a way, a new man can look so out of place in a familiar surrounding...

I can't get even get into how weird all these men are, but suffice it to say men are just weird and if i live to be a hundred I don't get it.

Fall is here and the days feel so much shorter, sort of like Iceland.. I received a letter from my mother where she thoughtfully enclosed newspaper clippings and photographs, I adore hearing from her and life just suddenly seems so much more normal somehow. I think one craves normalcy only when there is absurdity ruling one's life and that is where I am at the moment. However I am fairly certain that once normalcy is achieved (whatever that is) one craves absurdity. Life is nothing but contradictions.

I bought 2 DVDs: My all time favorite, Rosemary's Baby and 'The Kid stays in the Picture'. I thnk I need to buy more, God bless EBay.

I met a woman tonight whose name was Bay (!), I was astonished (and I come from the home of odd names) and asked her to spell it just to make sure it wasn't Bey, as the moon seemed pretty full to me....

aaawwwwoooooo















posted by svaka  # 2:15 AM
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Tuesday, November 04, 2003

Finally recovered from excessive partying on Halloween, boy this sure doesn't get easier with age! i remember being able to party several times a week when i was a kid and never feeling this lousy. i seem to have a strange little rash on my chin that started out as a pimple on friday but is really hurting now, i guess all the drinking didn't make it better, but alas i don't have health insurance so i can't go to the doctor. it is so insane about insurance, CU offered me COBRA coverage at the very attractive price of $390 per month (!) and how i am supposed to be able to afford it on a mere $1500 unemployment was never mentioned, this country is ridiculous! how can millions of people not have access to basic health care? in the mean time i can only hope this doesn't get any worse. having a bad day on a beautiful day :-(

posted by svaka  # 12:02 AM
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