SECONDARY FEMALE COMING THROUGH!!!! (Security guards at all airports I have recently visited).
Oh the indignities of air travel!! I am instantly picked out of a line of weary travelers every single time I enter an airport. I know the routine very well by now:
1) Sit on that chair (a guard then swipes the bottom of my feet with a magic wand, what they expect to find there I have no idea since I also learned that questions are never answered).
2) Stand on the mat and place your feet on the foot prints and hold out your arms (a guard then scans my body with the magic wand, I no longer wear a bra since the underwire can make them crazy and they may decide to do a more thorough body search)
3) I will pat you down now (at this point I ask for a female feeler "No you can not touch me, I am not wearing underwear!) althought in Florida this did not work, I was wearing a thong, a mini skirt and a tank top and they made me step behind a curtain and undress completely! (Guess I shouldn't have been snide "what the hell do you expect to find under my skin?"!!)
4) Stand on the side while we check your computer (they scrape the lid a little and swab it with cotton, I have no idea what that test is meant to reveal)
5) You can put on your shoes again but we need another person to come and check your bag and jacket!!!! (this can take up to 10 minutes, even though I have learned to not have anything in my pockets at all).
So I have learned a few things about how to behave in airports, but I also learned another valuable lesson: all this humiliation doesn't mean a thing. The people conductiong these searches are idiots and suddenly find themselves in a strange power situation and are determined to take full advantage of it, so look out if you have a Green Card, you are next!
This summer I passed through Kennedy and because I was unusually early I went throught the search and humiliate procedure 3 times as I went out to smoke and talk on the phone. On the plane while looking for a pen in my backpack I pulled out a BOXCUTTER!!!! Later I gave it to my mother for safekeeping and then a few days later as I was preparing a trip to the country I shook out my backpack and the offending implement fell out! I asked my mom why she had put it back (was she trying ot get me into trouble?), but she ran to the kitchen and brought out the first one!!! SO I went through 3 scans with 2 boxcutters!!!! So all this bullshit is for nothing at al except to make you feel like a criminal.
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